Simply Treasuring the Jewels Within

Sometimes we just have to sit back and see how beautiful these children are. Sure, there are times when they can be destructive but its not as if they mean it. We, being the normal people should understand and see what they are going through. Being able to see how beautiful and loving these children are take time, effort and patience. Believe after having exhausted everything, you will be able to see the jewels that they are.

I saw how violent my baby brother could be when he is provoked, hurt or frustrated but there are the good days where he wakes up happy and cheerful. Dancing to the music and smiling from ear to ear. And those are the days where I can say how lucky I am to have such gems. There are those times when he sneaks up on me in bed and cuddles and just wants to be treated like a baby. How I wish my mom would have been here to feel the warmth of this little boy's love.

Learning and Teaching

The past couple of days have been a blur to me. In the short span of time since I started this course I felt more involved with the kids and in a way my dad has been cooperative enough to reach out and spend time with them.
There have been instances already when I am able to take my brothers out for a ride without having to bring a helper with me. Just last week me, my dad and my two brothers went to the boulevard to eat burgers.
In that short span of time, I noticed how great it feels to be so involved in caring for my brothers. Seeing them so happy brings warmth to my heart and that, my friends is something you cannot trade in for any gold in the world.
But my problem is that everytime I start to get that good feeling of emotional attachment to my brothers, I start to get bothered because I end up thinking about how things will be once I start my career.
Just this morning my dad started to mention (again) that when we move to the states, the kids will be placed in a dormitory (an institution) so that me and my mom will be able to work. That got my blood boiling again! I would never allow my brothers to be put in such place! I would rather keep them here in the Philippines with their yayas, where they are comfortable rather than take them with me to the States only to deposit them in some institution.
How am I ever going to be able to take care of my brothers with the future that I will be facing? The sad part there is that I can never share my worries with my mother. I hate that she dismisses my fears. I don't know what to do anymore...

Autism Day on CNN

As I was browsing through the channels I found out that it was World Autism Day. The story on the screen was of a 19 year old American boy. He was tall, and had just learned to do self care. I saw my brother in him and once again felt sad. I could not imagine living life unable to care for myself.

I look at my brothers now and I see in them happy children just enjoying what they have. But they will not be children for long, Ryan is now 19 and Robert is now 10. How will they survive without me or my parents? Who will take care of them and provide them their needs. I would want to believe that they would live happy lives but it all seems so hard to picture out.

I enjoy spending time with my brothers because they seem to take away all my troubles but time will come where I will have to go on my way and make a living. How will my brothers survive without me?