Feedback From The Proessionals

Last Friday we had a meeting with my brother's teacher, or the one in charge of their schedule in general. She informed us (me and Gina), about Robert's improvements. Basically she was more focused on informing Gina, since she was always looking at Gina while she was speaking. It seemed to offend me especially since I am the child's sister. But going back to her evaluations It seemed that Robert's attention span was indeed increasing and now he could comprehend orders in two sentences, which is a good thing and which I have noticed.

The thing is Robert is a very manipulative child and is very wise in getting out of trouble. He has a way of charming his teachers to getting what he wants. Which is true. Everytime Robert does something bad and I reprimand him, he seems to find a way to charm me into not being mad at me anymore. He hugs me, he dances for me, he even kisses me to make me feel better. It seems to break my heart to be mad at him but at the back of my mind I know that giving him the satisfaction of getting things done his way is not good for him, and that's where I'm torn. I know spoiling him will not help him at all but it hurts having to scold him.

Another thing his teacher told me is that he seems to test people a lot, especially new people he meets. I can attest to this. When I was still studying in Cebu, he comes to me and makes "lambing" to me to get what he wants and when I don't give it to him, he throws a tantrums, and not ordinary tantrums, he throws anything within reach of him. That's why we don't have anything breakable in our living room, because he broke almost everything! But what I noticed then was that he never did that to Gina (the one who takes care of him). And then when I cam home for good after college and started to discipline him, tantrums rarely happen and instead it was my dad, who is rarely at home, he does that to. He seems to measure until where a person can handle him or how much he can get out of a person. That is something that will have to be improved.

On the positive side, the teacher informed us, that he has been mimicking a lot lately and is a good sign when it comes to his speech. In one way or another it does seem that he is trying his best to learn to speak. And he is starting to write on his own which is a good thing and hopefully he will start to learn to read. As for now, he may start to have the 4 hour a day schedule instead of his 2 hour a day schedule. Hopefully, I will be able to document all his improvements that I will need and hopefully I will be able to be hands on with his care so that his teacher will learn to respect me more as his sister and learn to speak directly to me.

My goal here is to learn to accept my responsibility towards their care so that I won't have to rely on our helpers to take care of them when we migrate to the US and hopefully I will also be able to convince my mother to do hands on care for them. I don't really know if my goal is realistic or attainable because for one thing, I am not open to my parents about my future plans because I'm afraid that they might get mad at me or get offended. But the truth is I want to set an example to them so that they will accept their responsibility as parents so that while they are still young they will gain the love and trust of my brothers.

I know I have a responsibility too, but I believe I am entitled to live my life at the moment while they are still capable to take care of the kids. I admit that I am in a serious relationship and we are thinking of getting married in two years time, and if my parents would not permit this because they want me to take care of my brothers it will really break my heart. I love my brothers will all my heart but I have to love myself and make myself complete first before I can handle them. If my parents can see that, I would be the luckiest person alive!